How Silence Makes You a Stronger Leader

You cannot lead effectively if you never stop to think.

We have bought into the lie that constant connectivity makes us better leaders. It doesn't.

Recently, I spoke with a leader constantly tethered to his phone, lamenting his inability to disconnect. He believed that staying plugged in was essential to staying ahead.

Sound familiar? The phantom buzz in your pocket, the urge to check Slack while waiting for coffee, the fear that stepping away even briefly will cause everything to fall apart.

I once read about Bill Gates when he was in the midst of Microsoft's peak growth. Twice a year, he would retreat to a secluded cabin in the Pacific Northwest for "Think Weeks." During these times, he avoided calls, meetings, and distractions. It was in this solitude that he gained the clarity to write the his infamous “Internet Tidal Wave” memo that steered his company to success.

Many of us have bought into the myth that constant connectivity makes us better leaders. The truth? Leading with moral courage and clarity demands that you step away from the noise.

Simple? Yes. Easy? Not always. Here are three essential benefits of weaving solitude into your leadership practice.

1. Solitude Sharpens Clarity of Thought

In this "Input Age," we are flooded with data but starved for wisdom. Access to endless information hasn’t made us wiser—it’s made us distracted. True leadership isn’t about reacting to every urgent ping; it’s about discerning what truly matters. But discernment requires distance. 

When we're always "plugged in," our mind stays reactive—answering emails, extinguishing fires, tackling crises. We’re busy, but are we effective? 

Solitude breaks this cycle. It quiets the noise so you can spot the signal. It creates mental space to connect dots invisible amid daily chaos. Raymond Kethledge and Michael Erwin, in Lead Yourself First, argue that solitude is a leadership discipline, not a luxury. Without it, leaders lose analytical objectivity and only treat symptoms instead of root causes.¹ As the saying goes, you can’t read the label from inside the jar. Solitude is stepping out to see the whole picture. Instead of constantly reacting to the urgent, you gain the space to design the important.

2. Solitude Ignites Creativity of Mind

Why is it our best ideas often come in the shower, on a long drive, or during a quiet walk? Creativity shies away from noise and distraction. Constant bombardment, whether from podcasts, news, social media or meetings, leaves no bandwidth for synthesis. You’re consuming, not creating. Filling the container, but never letting ideas ferment. William Deresiewicz, in his essay "Solitude and Leadership," says true leadership requires independent thinking—a "mind of one's own." That’s impossible without solitude. He writes, "Solitude is the very essence of leadership... The position of the leader is ultimately an intensely solitary, even intensely lonely one."² Science supports this: a study in Brain Structure and Function shows silence may stimulate new brain cell growth in the hippocampus, improving memory, emotion, and learning.³ Silence doesn’t just rest your brain; it rebuilds it. To innovate and solve tough problems, you don’t need another meeting—you need quiet. You need to give your mind room to wander, connect unexpected dots, and surface buried insights.

3. Solitude Fortifies Courage of Conviction

Perhaps most crucially, solitude builds the strength to stand firm amid pressure to conform or compromise. Leadership means making tough, sometimes unpopular decisions. It means disappointing people and staying true to your values when folding seems easier. That strength comes from knowing yourself deeply, and that self-knowledge can’t be found in a crowd. Solitude is the forge of moral courage. It’s where fears are confronted, motives examined, and actions aligned with core values. It’s where you "lead yourself first." Kethledge and Erwin recount Martin Luther King Jr.’s solitary prayers at his kitchen table as the source of his resolve to push the Civil Rights movement forward.⁴ 

Solitude clears the mind to see what must be done—and summons the courage to do it. Without this foundation, you’re a leaf in the wind, blown by trends, critics, and crises. With it, you’re a deeply rooted tree that weathers every storm.

Summary: The Power of Unplugging

The "Input Age" convinces us speed equals effectiveness and connectivity equals leadership. It’s a lie. Real leadership, the kind that builds resilient teams and lasting organizations, needs a different rhythm: the discipline to unplug.

• Clarity of Thought: Solitude shifts you from reaction to discernment.

• Creativity of Mind: Silence nurtures synthesis and innovation.

• Courage of Conviction: Quiet grounds your moral compass against pressure.

Imagine treating solitude not as “empty time,” but your most strategic asset. Imagine the clarity, solutions, and calm confidence you’d bring to your team. It’s possible. It starts with putting down the phone.

What’s one small way you can carve out a “pocket of solitude” this week?

Notes

1. Raymond M. Kethledge and Michael S. Erwin, Lead Yourself First: Inspiring Leadership Through Solitude (New York: Bloomsbury, 2017), 7–10.

2. William Deresiewicz, "Solitude and Leadership," The American Scholar, March 1, 2010, https://theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/.

3. Imke Kirste et al., "Is Silence Golden? Effects of Auditory Stimuli and Their Absence on Adult Hippocampal Neurogenesis," Brain Structure and Function 220, no. 2 (December 2013): 1221–1228, https://doi.org/10.1007/s00429-013-0679-3.

4. Kethledge and Erwin, Lead Yourself First, 25.